Childbirth: what is papa's role?


Childbirth: what is papa's role?

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To assist you during childbirth, a midwife, a nursing assistant, possibly a childcare assistant (sometimes a doctor) will be present. Often, the father is there too. The choice, for him, to attend or not the delivery must be made in a couple.

  1. To attend or not to the childbirth for the father, how to choose?
  2. He will attend the birth, for sure
  3. He still hesitates
  4. He will not attend childbirth
  5. Should papa be an actor or spectator during childbirth?
  6. A real supporter
  7. A simple observer
  8. The father attends the birth: must he see everything?

To be present at the birth, it is to assist in a way to the concretization of the conception after a gestation of nine months. But this decision should in no case go against the father's wish.

To attend or not to the childbirth for the father, how to choose?

It is up to you to support the future dad in his decision. Good communication will allow you to accept his final choice, whatever it may be.

He will attend the birth, for sure

For some fathers, it is obvious: of course they will be present on the day of childbirth, alongside their wives. They want to be there the first second their child is born. They want to be there to share this highlight with their wife as they have always done so far.

Today, hardly any maternity hospital refuses to accept the father. The presence of the father at birth has sometimes even been decided during the preparation for birth (haptonomy, sophrology).

He still hesitates

Yes, the papa is willing to support the mother, to be there, to reassure her, but this experience scares her, anxiety. Will he be able to insure? Will he be able to bear the sight of blood? So many questions for which you can reassure him.

Do not hesitate to tell him your feelings, his presence alone can be soothing for you. We now see that, out of 70% of fathers who attend childbirth, only 20% wished to participate.

In any case, no need to make him feel guilty. Rather, explain to him that he can try to accompany you and leave at any time, or only arrive for the birth of your baby. The majority of dads who have ventured there do not regret it.

He will not attend childbirth

He had nine months to imagine the scene, he inquired about the progress of the delivery and did not want to be there at all. He is afraid of being helpless in the face of his wife's pain.

Sometimes it is the expectant mothers themselves who are reluctant to have a dad. They do not want their companion to see them with their legs apart and placed on stirrups. They are afraid that this will have consequences on their married life.

Either way, you and he will always be able to change your mind at the last minute. And then, like that, the father keeps forces to ensure the logistics: the announcement to the family, the installation in the room ... Otherwise, you can also ask another person around you to accompany you.

Should papa be an actor or spectator during childbirth?

Dads experience childbirth each in their own way.

A real supporter

If both of you attended the preparation sessions, the father was able to discuss his role in concrete terms and therefore knows what he has to do. It can massage you to relax between two contractions, for example. He must be affectionate, reassuring. It's the real support you need.

It is he who is responsible for calling the midwife or the doctor if you are in too much pain and want to opt for an epidural. It can also cool you down with a damp glove or a fogger. Some dads even dare, under the control of the medical team, to perform certain gestures of birth (pulling the baby out once the shoulders are out, cutting the cord ...).

A simple observer

Confused, dressed in a blouse with slippers and a hat, the father sometimes does not know what to do. He feels excluded while all the attention is placed on the mother and the baby. He, therefore, remains fairly passive, silent, to look at what is going on around him.

If so, you will need to take matters into your own hands. Try to get her messages: “Hold my hand”, “kiss me”, “help me breathe”. Thus, he will surely understand that his role is to help you, to encourage you, to relax you.

Let's not talk about these dads who intend to film the scene from A to Z. This is not a show, rather book a few pictures for the first seconds of your baby's life.

The father attends the birth: must he see everything?

Dad's place is next to mom, at the head of the bed. The emotions will already be intense enough. No need to give you a little more thrills. Rarely can he be offered to come and see the birth on the stirrup side, and in any case, the father can refuse. Many doctors or midwives also refuse this possibility.

The father is there to help the mother morally in this great physical effort. Seeing the deformed sex of his wife to allow birth is not necessarily very good for the couple and their future sex life. It is, therefore, a question of also protecting the father from certain visions, certain manipulations. Thus, at the slightest complication, the medical team will be asked to leave.

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